After following National Team Manager Keogh home from work for the past week in my Mercedes with blacked-out windows, I finally managed to pluck up the courage to ask him thos questions which all ZIM inhabitants had been desperate to ask[split]:
Can you give us a brief summary of your thoughts on season 16?
Roller-coaster stuff. Just when you think you have the tactics or team to suit, you get a hiding. And then in season 16 B, South Africa come along and bash you from one end of the pitch to the other. Still...I got to know the boys. Not intimately, I must add.
Right........if season 16 was a holiday destination, where would it be?
Iraq. Full of beauty & promise… if you didn't have to be there scared shitless very minute of your time there.
Can't wait to go there. What is the target for season 17?
Always said that the 16th ranking spot was my aim. This will give us a 2nd tier draw & make a final 16 placing possible. The team is now better going into this season but have we enough to overtake the Germans? Who knows...Make no mistake, age is on this team’s side. They will be a force to be reckoned with in the S19 WC. I’m going to make sure that the squad has a nice balance in prep for that day.
Ok, so in order to achieve these goals, who will have to stand out? Who do you think is going to be the star of season 17?
Sid Wylam. He's the man. I also think that newbie, Sam Campbell, will be a powerful asset to the team.
Talking of Sam Campbell, you have called a lot of new players up this season, which of them do you have the highest hopes for?
Sam. Said last season that we needed some fatties & he is worth his weight in gold ( ). I can use other tactics now with his presence.
If you had to call up two uncapped players to the squad, who would they be?
No idea. I’ve scouted all I think worth considering although at the end of this season, some higher CSR’s may prompt the new manager to look around again.
In that case, which of the current U20 team do you have your on 'Keogh watch' as a future NT player?
I like Kuwana (but not in that way). He’s a good, big, strong, front-player with a super weight
(Starting to worry about Keogh now) How long can Skip Lumley (the old man of the NT) carry on playing?
As long as he keeps bribing Mugabe’s henchmen.
Have you ever used crushed lizard feet oil as sunblock?
I’ve fried lizard feet in sunflower oil. Does that count?
No, no it doesn't.........And finally, do you have any spare toilet roll?
Yes but you will have to extract it yourself. The surgical gloves are over there…